Controversy. Conflict. Demeaning and sometimes violent or mean dialog. I wish that people didn’t feel the need to react so horribly at times, but they do. Any time a person cries “foul play” for almost anything, I think a knee-jerk reaction is unfortunately part of “American Culture”. I know that we all have our own opinions and feelings, but sometimes we can express them in horrible ways. We call people names, we say “they deserved that”, we make fun of others or ridicule them. Sometimes I’m just as guilty of a few of these “communication mishaps”. But I often wonder how we can get past this faster, and get to the real feelings and needs behind what people are saying in retaliation.
I will not be approving a few comments to my last posting, because I felt that they weren’t constructive. They were combative, and seemed to escalate the posting into a tit-for-tat, rather than a good discussion.
I will also admit, that the time I was seeing all of the violent behavior unfold with how the police handled a couple of situations, that my own behavior and speech escalated. I’ll admit, I have a HUGE desire to challenge authority and the status quo. I did yell at one of the police officers, telling him that I had pictures of his manhandling, and that he was showing unnecessary aggressive force in the witness of myself and 200 others. I think I did something like yell and point, “Look at all of these witnesses!”
Looking back, I’m not very proud of that. Police officers are humans who carry stress, just like those of us who feel disrespected by motorists. I probably escalated his tension level, and did nothing to build any sort of bridge between him and the rest of us.
Will I go back and do another Critical Mass? Of course I will! I’ll take my camera too! I don’t want to be in a state of mind where I can get my own anger raised and escalate or potentially escalate an already bad situation. This is something that I need to work on, and to try to be more mindful.
On my reading plate soon will be Marshall Rosenburg’s book on Non-Violent Communication. Maybe I’ll encourage some other friends to read it as well.
I think that there is a way out there to get the needs of the bicycle community met, and for those of law enforcement. Bicyclists desire a safe and respectful street system to ride in, where motorists look out for them. Motorists desire a space where they also feel safe and comfortable. To a person whose primary transit is a bicycle, I can tell you, that sometimes riding in traffic feels like you are a guppie in a sea of sharks. Flipping the image around on a motorist, where he or she sees themselves as the guppy might feel a bit threatening. It’s a paradigm shift in the moment.
Are there ways to meet both needs?
I find riding in Critical Mass very empowering and inspiring. That’s why I do it. I see that I’m not alone, and that people CAN reach across a lot of different boundaries and differences to be together in a supportive environment. I ride for the joy!
We ring bells and honk little horns on our bikes in celebration, as a greeting, or when we wave at people. Honk your horn and wave at every motorist you see while in your car, and I imagine you’ll get a range of emotions from the other motorists. I doubt that range will encompass joy, empowerment, or happiness unfortunately. But, I think sometimes, we all need more of that joy when we’re in cars.
We all need more joy in life in general. If I can get that joy by riding with 200 others in a big bike ride once a month, you bet I’ll take it there! It fulfills that need for me to want to feel a part of something more than just myself. We all want to belong somewhere, and I do think that some people buy cars to “belong” somewhere too.
Well I commend you on your own insight as to the level of stress these officers may be under. It is not common, your self assessment. I also commend you on participating in something like this. I need to do the same.
However, having said that, I have to say as both a cyclist and a motorist, I don’t see either side having the monopoly on bad behavior. I tend to think that the cyclist, being exposed and open to harm much more-so than the motorist, is usually the one that needs to be protected. Yet, here in my beloved city of Madison, I see so many cyclist blatantly disregarding the rules of the road to the point that I understand why there is much animosity towards them from motorists. Daily, and I mean DAILY, I see bikes run lights, zoom off the road into crosswalks so they can “be pedestrians” and not wait for lights. I have always been taught that as a person on a bike, you are subject to the SAME rules as a motorist. Yet, numerous bikers slip in between cars in double lanes at lights, pass on the left and yell insults when motorists are shocked or scared when they “appear” out of no where. I once posed the question at a certain bike federation gathering here and was insulted so badly that I will no longer associate with this particular group. I simply asked why they complain that bikers are treated so badly by motorist when I could plainly see from their behavior that much of it was brought on by themselves. You would have thought that I had suggested bikes don’t belong on roads.
Even on bike paths, I have been startled or knocked down when I stuck out my arm to signal a turn and was hit on the left by a biker who didn’t bother to announce his intention to pass me on the left. He was irritated when I suggested a bell or a shout, “passing on the left” or even to wait and pass on the right as he should have. I am frequently cut off or yelled at by other bikers if I and not going “fast enough”. Now having said all this, yes, motorist do not treat bikers very well, however in order to gain respect we all must ride the roads and do it in accordance with the laws. That is the only way we can hope to be able to stand tall and say, “I follow the rules, and the motorist should as well.”
Being somewhat disobedient in these Critical Mass gatherings may be necessary to get the dialog between law enforcement and bikers and motorists going, yet going too far to be disrespectful or disruptive might have the opposite effect.
Just my thought.
Comment by Kent Walker — July 6, 2006 @ 9:14 am